Stealing from Twolegs
by boltfur
Summary: Lionblaze has his own secret orginisation which steals from any were any when. sorry suck at summerys story is alot better
1. Chocolate!

**Hi boltfur here and this is my first fanfic my punctuation is very bad so don't criticize me about it PLEASE. **

**Stealing from the Twolegs**

"GIMMIE MY COOKIES!" Yowled Ashfur pouncing on Lionblaze who had just returned stealing from twolegs holding a jumbo packet of Oreos Cloudtail looked up from where he was break dancing in his hoodie just in time to see Lionblazes tail disappearing through the bracken with Ashfur on his heels still yowling to the sky "GIVE ME MY COOKIES!"

Lionblaze sighed in relief he had only just managed to escape Ashfurs cookie wrath and was now in his top secret headquarters and putting the Oreos in the vault, when he had finished locking the door to the vault he walked over to his main brain computer and typed up the blueprints of his latest scheme before gathering all the Secret Stealing Ninja Cats (SSNC for short) he needed "ok team tonight we are breaking into...no Brackenfur we are not breaking into Firestars piggy bank we tried that last year and we almost got blown apart by Firestars time to dynamite if you have no password system so as I was saying tonight we are breaking into the twolegs biggest chocolate factory!" This announcement was greeted by whoops of delight when the noise had finally died down Lionblaze brought up the blueprints on his whopper big screen and said "ok so this is what we're going to do...

Click the lock of the door snapped shut and at this sound at least seven lithe shapes slid into the room in homemade ninja suits Lionblazes was black, Brambleclaws was brown as he was Lionblazes number one, Squirrelflight was dressed in orange and that's all you need to know right now the band quickly divided into three bands of cats as the first group slid off into the shadows looking for milk chocolate, the second group slid towards the white chocolate and the third group of Lionblaze, Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight move to the dark chocolate section taking their stash bags out of their pockets as Brambleclaw quickly grabbed some dark orange club bars and Squirrelflight shoved a giant chocolate bar into her bag Lionblaze stuffed a load of Green and Blacks Organic chocolate bars along with thousands of Terrys dark chocolate oranges it was a long while before the factory was finally empty and Lionblaze was absailing through the window of the factory next door with Brambleclaw lowering him down towards the biggest chocolate cake in history when suddenly the light turned on...

Lionblaze froze and Brambleclaw stopped lowering his companion downwards. The door closed and a twoleg walked into the room everyone watched silently as the twoleg began to ice the huge cake with triple layered chocolate icing out of the corner of his eye Lionblaze saw Brackenfur getting ready to spring from the ventilation shaft but just before he leaped Lionblaze hissed at him through clenched teeth "mouse brain! TRIPLE CHOCOLATE ICING MEANS MORE CHOCOLATE!" Brackenfur instantly relaxed as soon as the cake was finished the twoleg walked out of the room turning off the light as he went. Soon Lionblaze was holding a very large chocolate cake in his paws and being lifted out of the room and running to the vault of his headquarters not relaxing until the cake was firmly locked into the vault, after getting out of his ninja suit he raced back to camp hoping nobody noticed his absence he poked his head into the camp before walking into it only to be bowled over with a screech by a mass of gray fur howling "GIVE ME MY COOKIES!"


	2. FUGIEWUGE?

**Hi guys thanks for understanding that I'm rubbish at punctuation but also please read Frostfur72s stories thanks!**

Lionblaze stared at what he had first thought was a huge mutant mass of gray fur but turned out to be Ashfur "well where are my cookies?" He roared Lionblaze grinned devilishly "I ate them" he lied Ashfurs eyes widened tears welling up "NOOOOO! I was going to marry it! Oh Fugiewuge what shall I do without you?" Lionblaze frowned "Fugiewuge?" he said confused "it was the packet of Oreos name!" Ashfur howled Lionblaze bit down hard on his tongue to stop himself from laughing as he slid away from the howling cat only to run into Cloudtail who grabbed him by the collar of his brown leather jacket and said to him "what's going on?"

Lionblaze gulped when Cloudtail realised something was funny he would do anything to know what was so funny wiping his face of all expression except innocents he said sweetly " what do you mean Cloudtail?" Cloudtail let out a snarl of annoyance "don't think I don't know your tricks last time you thought something was funny it turned out you left my hoodie dangling from a flimsy tree branch over the lake!" Lionblaze snorted "ok, ok if you really want to know I ate this load of cookies and it turns out Ashfur wanted to marry it and called it Fugiewuge!" Cloudtails whiskers twitched and dropped Lionblaze onto the hard ground with a yelp before walking over to Firestar and whispered into his ear something he couldn't hear.

Soon the word was flying around camp that Ashfur had wanted to marry a packet of cookies and called it Fugiewuge everyone was at least smiling whenever Ashfur padded past them. Lionblaze padded into his personal cave stopping on his tracks when he saw that the lights were dimmed and had a red tint to it and in the middle of the room were two swivel chairs, one of the two chairs turned round to reveal Birchfall sitting on one dressed in a black and red super villains suit "Ahh Lionblaze we have been expecting you"...

**Yes it's short and before you ask why it was Fugiewuge I couldn't think of any other names so anyway please review!**


	3. Funeral,strange Birchfall and Berrynose

**Ok sorry about it being short again but as I said it's long on word anyway on with the show .**

Lionblaze stared "allow me to introduce myself I am the evil Birchfall and my companion is..." "Fluffy Bunny Berrynose!" said the second figure turning round revealing Berrynose in a similar costume but black and blue and wearing Fluffy Bunny ears he had been given for his birthday Birchfall groaned and hit head but soon recovering "SIT!" he bellowed Lionblaze sat down on a nearby stool "now I understand you got some Oreos by stealing from twolegs is this true?" Birchfall questioned panic flared through Lionblaze did Birchfall know about his secret organisation? "yes it is true" Berrynose nodded taking down notes on a clipboard "thank you that is all I need to know after all you never know when your chocolate might go missing!" then with an evil laugh he threw a smoke bomb onto the floor, coughing and spluttering Lionblaze turned on the fan, as soon as the air cleared Birchfall had gone but Berrynose still sat in the chair blinking a couple of times before yelping "wait for me Oh great lord evil Birchfall!" before running out of the room.

Lionblaze yawned after the strange incident yesterday he had gone to bed and stayed there, as he walked outside he saw Ashfur standing beside the fresh kill pile in his black funeral clothes holding a bunch of black roses Firestar walked out of his den talking into his mobile phone "no Blackstar we can't have a battle you know I like to keep peace... look I know you're bored but" Firestar noticed Ashfur "... I'll call you back later" flipping the phone shut he went up to Ashfur who was looking very sad indeed "Ashfur" he called out "what's up" Ashfur hung he head "my love is dead" he whispered Firestar blinked but "nobody has died" he said tilting his head "YES THEY HAVE!" Ashfur howled "MY LOVE! FUGIEWUGE! AND I DEMAND WE HAVE A FUNERAL!" Honeyfern sniffed tears welling up in her eyes Sandstorm frowned "Honeyfern what's wrong?" Honeyfern glared at Berrynose through her tears "I LOVED YOU AND YOU LOVED A PACKET OF COOKIES! I HATE YOU!" She yelled and stormed off leaving a very startled Ashfur in its place who soon returned to his morning state.

Lionblaze walked towards the vault it was time to eat the very last Oreo of the packet he opened the door and stared before yowling into the speakers of the HQ "EVERYONE REPORT TO THE CRIME SCENE HALL NOW THE VAULT IS EMPTEY!"

**Ok I guess that was a bit predictive and yes I know Honeyfern liked Berrynose I just needed a she-cat to like him...soooo please review!**


	4. MYSTERY TIME!

**Hello again ok sorry if in this chapter goes off the stealing from twolegs subject but it's going to turn into a little detective chapter.**

Lionblaze stood on the platform his eyes smouldering with rage cats were muttering uneasily to each other now Brambleclaw who had no idea what was going on because he had been listening to his Kylie songs on his iPod before he got swept of his feet by a tide of cats whispered to Brackenfur who was sitting next to him "don't worry he's probably just going to ask if anyone took Dustpelts beer after all last time someone did he was hit over the head with a jackhammer twice so he held a full investigation on who took it" Brackenfur hissed at his with clenched teeth "no you mousebrain! Someone stole all the food from the vault!" Ivypaw upon hearing this howled "NO IT CAN'T BE MY BARBIE DOLLS WERE IN THERE!" (**no offence to anyone who likes Barbie dolls**) Lionblaze growled in fury "right then the vault was empty when I went and checked this morning now did anybody see anything suspicious in the last few days" Lionblaze bellowed Brackenfur put up his paw "umm I saw three days ago now Birchfall and Berrynose running out of your room wearing super villain costumes with blue Bs on them" he suggested Lionblaze who had forgotten completely about this suddenly remembered Birchfalls parting words "after all you never know when your chocolate might go missing" rang through his head he suddenly snapped back into reality "right find Birchfall and Berrynose find them and bring them to me blindfolded" he yelled at the cats before going to his office.

Lionblaze sighed as he slumped down into his chair the patrols had found nothing no Birchfall no Berrynose no Fluffy bunny ears nothing "right" he said to himself "I WILL find them if it's the last thing I do" he quickly hacked into a satellite and zoomed in on the Thunder clan camp the first place to look obviously moving the screen he looked around there was Cloudtail dancing, Ashfur still standing by the fresh kill pile, Tigerstar rising from the dead doing ballet but no Birchfall or Berrynose. Next up the Training hollow now known as the Battle Hollow Squirrellflight had clearly been arguing with Brambleclaw again because they were both in tanks shooting missiles and lasers at each other but no Birc...wait Lionblaze only saw a glimpse of it but he was certain it was... A GIANT COW DOING THE MONSTER MASH WHILE FLYING! Now while Lionblaze was dancing to the cows moves being the dumbo he is didn't notice a pair of bunny ears sticking out of a bush...

**Sorry it's soooo short ANYWAY you see that lonely little button down there if you could just click on it Hint Hint.**


	5. Bunny ears!

**Ok thanks for all the five reviews guys so as I'm a happy bunny ON WITH THE STORY!**

The door of Lionblazes office opened and Brambleclaw who had clearly lost the battle with Squirrellflight because his fur was singed to a crisp and was panting hard from running away from his opponent with indestructible paper with the latest report from the patrols on it walked in stopping on his tracks as he saw Lionblaze dancing while singing "The Monster Mash! Oh it's the Monster Mash!" Brambleclaw sighed he'd better leave Lionblaze in peace but as he walked up to Lionblazes desk he saw the bunny ears appear out of the bush and yelled "OH MY STARCLAN FLUFFY BUNNY EARS! I LOVE YOU FLUFFY BUNNY EARS! YOU'R MY BEST FRIEND!" Lionblaze immediately stopped doing the monster mash and zipped over to stand beside Brambleclaw whose eyes had now turned into love hearts Lionblaze grinned "gotcha" he said before pressing the teleport button "Great idea Lionblaze now I can see her pretty face!" Brambleclaw mewed before leaping and twirling gracefully through the air to land beside the teleportation mat Lionblaze however stayed where he was He'd show Birchfall and Berrynose not to steal his chocolate just then the blinding white light of the teleportation beam shone as this happened Lionblaze pressed the energy cage soon Berrynose and Birchfall would be trapped in a cage made out of energy. The light died away to reveal... A BUNNY! The shocked little creature reared onto its hind legs and stared dramatically at the stunned Lionblaze before jumping back in surprise as Brambleclaw began to slam into the cage yelling "RELEASE THE BUNNY!"

**Sorry it's very very short I'll try and make it up to you with a longer chapter next time!**


	6. Bunny time with Cloudtail getts KO!

**Yes I know the last one was very short, but I'm going to try and make a nice long chapter today soooo lets type!**

Brambleclaw was now beginning to chew the bars of energy in a pathetic attempt to break the now quivering rabbit free, Lionblaze after clicking the release button strode out of the room leaving a dancing Brambleclaw holding a bunny in his paws behind him.

Lionblaze walked into the camp still silently fuming to himself that he had been fooled by a stupid rabbit and still engrossed in his anger walked into a HUGE tree he leapt backwards rubbing his bruised black nose before yelling "WHO IN THE IDIOTIC NAME OF STARCLAN PUT THIS STUPID TREE HERE BECAUSE WHO EVER DID WILL BE KICKED RIGHT UP THEIR FAT LEATHER JACKET!" now Cloudtail who is very fond of leather jackets strode over to Lionblaze grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and... "Tra laa laa I love ballet!" Tigerstar wearing a pink frilly tutu twirled in mid-air and landed in the middle of camp in a famous ballet move before ending up in a finished position opening his eyes the smile on his face vanished "uuhh bye!" he said before with a pop teleported back to the Dark Forest hopping that it was all a dream and nobody had seen him in his ballet outfit Cloudtail turned back to Lionblaze and lifted his fist only to be hit on the head and knocked to the ground by a flying beer bottle thrown by a drunk Dustpelt "NNNOOO! MY BUETIEFUL FACE! I'M RUINED!" as Lionblaze turned towards the exit Cloudtail bit down on his tail before grabbing it with his paw "you're not going anywhere" he snarled before passing out Lionblaze grinned "looks like I am" he said, as his brother Jayfeather came out of the medicine cat den with a Stethoscope (**that thing Doctors use listen to peoples hearts)** around his neck he bent down for a while listening to Cloudtails brain very carefully using the stethoscope before finally announcing "he has major brain problems" but was cut off by Leafpool interrupting his saying "will he be all right?" before breaking off as Jayfeather glared at her before continuing his sentence "however he all ready had that so there is no change there but..." he held up a paw to silence Leafpool " when he comes round he will think he is a she-cat which will turn him gay so I advise all toms to NOT tell him he's a tom or due to his brain problems combined with his new thoughts instead of hearing that he's actually a tom he will hear you saying let's go to a dark place together, so I repeat DO NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S A TOM"

Lionblaze stared at his brother before finally finding the words to speak but Brackenfur beat him to it "wait do you mean dark place together as in..." he left the sentence trailing Jayfeather glared at Brackenfur in return before speaking in a sweet silky voice "would you like me to say it more detailed Brackenfur?" Brackenfur slapped his mouth and ran out of the camp to a safe place where he could throw up in peace. Just then Cloudtail began to stir Firestar who had been watching the situation from above said "ok everyone act normal!" But then just as Cloudtail got to his paws a cream coloured tom walked into the camp... Berrynose.

**Ok people I think I've already got a plan for the next chapter so review... are you still reading this I said lets review!...please? ok this isn't working so lets try some bribery reviews in exchange for the next chapter heh heh me's evil! X-) **


	7. WAR!

**Yahoos! Chapter 7! Way we finally find out what happens to Berrynose and Birchfall! But as I wrote or typed up the story I know what's going to happens YAYZ!**

Lionblaze sat back in the prison room and watched as Berrynose struggled against his bonds which kept him sitting in a chair before asking "ok Berrynose were are Birchfall and you hiding the chocolate, sweets, iPods" "AND MY BARBIE DOLLS!" Ivypaws voice sounded from behind the steel door "BE QUITE!" Lionblaze hollered back "I'll never tell you!" Berrynose yowled "very well, Brambleclaw bring in Cloudtail!" he yelled seconds later brambleclaw led Cloudtail who was hand-cuffed into the room Berrynose stared at the look of pure love on Cloudtails face when he saw him "But Cloudtail you're a tom!" he spluttered Cloudtails head snapped up "you really mean that?" he asked "duh yes!" Cloudtail sprang forward but Brambleclaw held firmly onto the hand-cuffs stopping him from doing anything "ok Berrynose you have a choice tell us the easy way or the Cloudtail way your choice" Berrynose stared before sighing "fine but... If I tell you then..." Lionblaze waited for the next few words of pressure "... I get a Cupcake!" Lionblaze blinked "Deal" he said "but no funny stuff".

Berrynose lead Lionblaze through the forest "are you sure this is the right wa-" he was cut off by a yowl sounding from above "Berrynose! I have the cupcake of destiny! Come to your true master!" Brambleclaw quivered "IT'S THE ANGELS THEY'RE TALKING TO US!"he screamed before shooting over to the nearest rabbit set and began to bury himself yelling "I'M A RABBIT DON'T EAT ME!" Lionblaze gapped as Berrynose leaped towards the bushes in Shadow clan as a flying cupcake was hurled into the open and the shadow of Birchfall appeared.

Fury surged through Lionblaze as he stared at Birchfall "Ok Birchfall were is the stash of chocolate?" he snarled Birchfall laughed "two things 1)I'm BirchSTAR now the leader of shadow clan 2) I ate the stash" Lionblaze was so stunned he didn't hear the first few words "THIS MEANS WAR!" he roared and raced back to camp.

**Normally I would leave the chapter here but as I'm doing a long one I'll just have to continue it.**

Lionblaze grabbed his speaker "Ok we are all in a stage of preparing for war therefore drop any plans your doing, we will put our grand scheme to raid toys r us on hold sharpen your ninja swords, load your cheesy bazooka guns and prepare from war!" he yelled before sitting back "now all I have to worry about is the fact that Firestar and the rest of the clan won't help unless..." he left the sentence unfinished as he dashed out of the room.

"Firestar" he mewed as calmly as he could as he stepped into the leaders den "yes what is it" Firestar asked, Lionblaze took a deep breath and prepared for the biggest lie of his life "ok I had this big load of sweets and chocolate and I was going to share it with the clan but then Birchfall who is now Birchstar..." he suddenly remembered what his new mortal enemies' name was "the leader of shadow clan ate all of the chocolate so now I have declared war on him will you please order all of thunder clan to help" Firestar was silent for a while " Lionblaze if he ate the chocolate you were going to share with the clan then...I'LL HELP YOU ALL THE WAY!" he roared the last few words "but we shall need help ...SKYCLAN!" Lionblaze blinked it wasn't often somebody said the name of the long lost clan before Firestar had brought it back "I'll get right onto it" Lionblaze mewed leaping to his paws and charging over to the warriors den "Brambleclaw as you are the high sky master do you think you can go and ask sky clan to help in the war?" Brambleclaw saluted Lionblaze before grabbing his High-power –Jetpack- which uses no petrol strapping it onto his back running outside and blasting off into goodness knows where.

It was a few days later and Brambleclaw would soon be returning from his trip with sky clan everyone was ready Squirrelflight was the Tank army chief, Graystripe was the head of the missile defence system Mousewhisker was in charge of the ninja department now the rest was too long to run through so I'm not going to go through that Lionblaze looked up and saw a sight that lifted his spirits high flying towards them was Brambleclaw and behind him was an army of Sky clan cats standing on hawks and eagles with jetpacks on their backs.

**Ok what do you think please review this chapter I want to see how I've improved and everything so a click on a button and type!**


	8. Barbie land?

**I'm just going to jump straight to the story but sorry about it being so short.**

Lionblaze ran over to Brambleclaw as he landed "are the Skyclan cats ready?" He asked, Brambleclaw nodded "Then we are ready" Lionblaze whirled round as Leafstar padded up to him "Sky clan will go into war as allies of thunder clan" she announced "The chocolate cake was responsibility for all of us until Birchstar ate it" she finished before walking off to assemble her troops. Firestar walked up to Lionblaze "everyone is ready" he told him before springing into his tank and driving it out of camp crushing the entrance while doing so.

"OK BIRCHSTAR" Lionblaze growled "what did you do to Blackstar" Birchfall smiled "well let's just say we had an agreement" he replied mysteriously "A GREAT AGREEMENT!" a voice screamed as Blackstar appeared in some pink clothes before anyone could stop staring at the tutu he was wearing Ivypaw raced up shrieking "YOU'VE GOT A BARBIE DRESS! THEY HAVEN'T EVEN COME TO SHOPS YET!" she screamed suddenly several cats stormed out of the forest including Tigerstar, Scourge, Bone, Brick, Clawface, Brokenstar , Hawkfrost and Darkstripe yelling "WERE IS THE BARBIE DRESS YAYERZ! A BARBIE DRESS!" it wasn't before long when the whole of the dark forest was crowding round Blackstar who had just announced that he had created a new clan...BARBIE CLAN! Lionblaze rolled his eyes _this could take a while_ he thought.

When the newly founded Barbie clan had settled down at the edge of the battle field a voice echoed from within the territory of River clan "NOOOOO! MY FLUFFY BUNNYKINS NOOOO!" every head turned to see a VERY upset Mothwing walking up to them crying into her paws...

**Ok I know I said there would be a war and there will be and there will be but I need to make some more parts of the story come in so the war will hopefully be in one of the next two or three chapters sorry for the delay. **


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